We started 2020 with such positivity and excitement for what the year had in store for us.

Seven months later and it feels like January was a different decade. We reached out to our writer-author friend, Brooke, to share what her word of the year means to her now. And she came through with an awesome reflection. So grab your favorite mug and enjoy:

At the start of 2020 when I chose the word “integrate,” I felt like I had all these individual parts of myself that I’d finally put together, enabling myself to operate out of my values rather than living in reactive mode. I imagined myself as an expert engineer who’d put together each of the separate pieces within my life into one epic creation. And I thought this would happen fairly quickly so that I’d really enjoy the rest of the year as this newer version of myself.

But then 2020 actually happened. And geesh!

Instead of an engineer trained in putting together complex machinery, I felt like an eighteen year old putting together an IKEA dresser for the first time—the instructions, that at first seemed simple, lacked helpful details, and the hardware, that somehow all looked the same, was missing pieces. By March, I was tired, sweaty, and impatient as I saw what little progress I’d made putting the pieces of myself together correctly and realizing as I headed into a pandemic that I wasn’t at all who I wanted to be. 

Now the year is more than halfway over, and I still don’t feel integrated. But I’ve also come to realize that doesn’t mean I chose the wrong word for the year. Just as the person putting together IKEA furniture learns or the engineer creating a robot understands, getting the pieces in the correct place and order the first time isn’t really reasonable or even as important as just getting it right eventually. 

So I’m sticking with my goal of integration and trusting that I’ll get there eventually.

How has your Word of the Year informed your year?

Thanks for sharing, Brooke! Read about how Brooke chose her word back in January, here. Read more of Brooke's work on her Instagram and website.